A Recap, and more...

I've not been doing a very good job of journaling our adoption journey for Maxim. I'll just do a little recap...

At my appointment with the national adoption authority a mistake was uncovered in Maxim's file. Considering how carefully this agency checks and rechecks every single letter of every single document, this error was very surprising. The only logical explanation, in my mind, is that no one ever really looked at his file...no one ever thought he would be wanted.

I picked up the referral paperwork and set out to meet little Max. He is a fantastic kid! He is a tiny fellow for  his age, and he has obvious health problems, but he is sweet and fun and SMART! I was able to teach him to perform pat-a-cake already. Zhen and Theo can't even do that yet!

In a perfect Ukrainian adoption scenario, I would meet Max and have a court date about a week or a week and a half later. This would have been the case if not for the mistake in his file. Fixing this mistake involved a trip to his birth city and lots of driving back and forth from the court house to the social worker to the baby orphanage and over and over...and a last minute expedition fee. Yuk.

Legal papers aren't legal in Ukraine until the 5th day. The signatures that we needed to schedule court would not be given for an additional 10 days. This little mistake cost me two whole weeks. I decided not to wait it out and return home as I had originally planned.

Being in Ukraine isn't just as easy as hopping on a plane. I've got nine children at home that need attention and a husband that travels way too much. I had the first trip covered thinking that I would have court before coming home. This would have made the second trip a short and sweet one since I would spend the legal 10 day waiting period at home.

Now, I'm headed back for court in a couple of weeks. I'll be spending the waiting period there, then applying for a passport for Max, and a new birth certificate, and a visa to come to the USA. This trip could be three weeks long. I am happy to report that we have great childcare in place for this second trip. More about that later.

As much as I will miss my crew at home, I'm excited to spend so much more time with Maxim before I bring him home. He needs to get to know and trust me better before I remove him from his comfort zone. He is well liked and has many friends. I believe that he will mourn this loss. He cannot know that this adoption is for his ultimate benefit. He cannot know that he would have otherwise been transferred to a place that is not so cozy and friendly. I'm preparing for a tough transition.

Along with my continuing visits and bonding with Maxim, I'm excited to have the opportunity to visit children in other facilities in the city...dorms, orphanages, and handicapped facilities. I hope to bring some good cheer and a message of hope with me as I tag along with the folks from True Hope Ukraine. Check out their ministry video:

I'm packing a bag of donations to bring with me. I'd like to bring vitamins, postcards, and other small items. I'm waiting on a list of specific items, but if you would like to participate by sending items or making a donation to cover the cost of checking an extra suitcase ($100) or purchasing small gifts, please email me at nancefamily8@cox.net.

I have two specific project requests:

1. I need pen pal families for some of the children I meet. I would love for your children to write letters monthly, but I need the family to make the commitment. These children have been repeatedly let down by the people in their lives and we handle their hearts carefully. Letters will be translated and delivered monthly. Email ProjectTLC@cox.net if you are interested.

"Samuel" would love to have a pen pal...but he really needs a family to believe in him.

 2. Project TLC is beginning an orphan hosting program. We are starting small and starting in the Wichita, Kansas area. This program will provide expose an orphaned child with exposure to life in a stable, loving family...something they may have never known. It will be an experience they will cherish for life. Email ProjectTLC@cox.net for more information.

Some of the bigger boys at a Christmas performance. These kids are incredibly sweet!

How is that for a recap? Stay tuned for more information on how you can help make a happy new year for some awesome kids half a world away.

What a ride!

Wow.

What a ride! 

I finally have time to sit down and write this stuff down.

The past week has been all about getting and keeping Ralph and Theo well again. Theo made a quick turnaround and only spent one night in the hospital. Ralph on the other hand...

I had not seen my little rock star work so hard to breathe in ages. He was frightfully ill with an adenovirus on his first Christmas in 2007. The atypical pneumonia he was diagnosed with this time was just as awful. His oxygen saturation would plummet if he knocked his mask off at night. The doctors were attempting to arrange a transfer to the big city children's hospital, but there were no beds available for Ralph!

We were in limbo.

On Friday evening, I requested the respiratory therapists to perform CPT (chest physiotherapy) on Ralph after his treatments. I am convinced that this patting (or pounding, depending on the therapist!) is helpful in breaking up crud in the lungs.

After a horrible night, chocked full of wild and scary desats, Ralph was transferred to PICU on Sunday morning. This was so that he could have cpap or bipap support if he had another scary night. We were still waiting on word from Kansas City about a transfer.

Wouldn't you know it, as soon as the little stinker was transferred to PICU, he started perking up. After a CPT session that afternoon, Ralph coughed real big and his O2 sats jumped up...and stayed up! He had a great night that night. Me? Not so much. The unit was full of screaming, super-sick kiddos seperated by curtains, and I slept in a stupid recliner. 

If you want to call it sleeping, that is. I cracked an eye open and struggled to focus on the sat monitor every so often...or whenever I would hear an alarm...any alarm...which was probably every five minutes. When Ralph was sitting at 95% around 2am I started to get excited. In my mind, I began to rehearse my arguments for taking Ralph home with a sat monitor and supplemental oxygen. (I know I can still change an oxygen tank while half asleep, in the dark!) I got myself so worked up that I ended up running to the restroom every hour after that...3am, 4am, 5am...

Ralph ate two plates of eggs...feeling better for real!!

The morning of Christmas eve, when the day nurse arrived, I told her my plan. Ralph needed to be going home and they needed to get the discharge paperwork going. We had to wait until rounds to speak to the docs. They insisted on an EKG to check for heart damage before they would release Ralph. They were not happy with the chart, but I explained that he had an enlarged right heart as a baby.

With promises to follow up with Ralph's cardiologist, we finally busted him out around lunchtime!! Then we sat in the home oxygen office for an hour, trying to get him set up with new equipment. Blech! Ralph tried to open the fake Christmas presents under the tree there! haha! He wanted to play and run around, but he had been in bed for a week and was really clumsy and uncoordinated. 

By the time we were done there, my favorite pharmacy was closed for Christmas Eve. I checked three more pharmacies before finding an open one. I was so happy to finally get Ralph home. It was the best Christmas present. Ever.

I'm home!

I'm home. Well I was for a few hours anyway. I surprised the kids this morning. It was fun to see their faces!

Actually, right this moment I am on the way to the hospital with Theo. Its going to be an interesting Christmas.

More later...

Ralphie

Oh goodness! My Ralphie is sick!

I learned last night that he had to be taken to the hospital with low oxygen sats. I felt that cold fear grip my heart again, that fear that I thought I conquered years ago. 

I'm too far away to do anything but wait for more information. I have to be patient and trusting. Please pray for my little rock star. He's not doing well tonight. I understand the he might get worse before he gets better. 

There are two other little boys with Down Syndrome that are fighting for their lives tonight. Please remember Ethan and Peter in your prayers as well. I know their families would be grateful. 

Week two

Today marks two weeks since I left home. 

Maxim is great! He has learned my version of Pat A Cake and can do it with no prompting. He has a little trouble "rolling it," but we can work on that some more later.

Can I just say that I was very nervous about adopting an older child? I might not have had the courage if not for a certain young missionary girl who has visited him often over the past year or so.  But, these kids are amazing! I have also had a chance to hang out with many older kids and teens here, and they are so emotionally open, full of hope, and life. They ALL say, "please adopt me, too!"

The children I met last night were surprised that I wish to adopt "sick" kids. They wanted to know why? One boy offered to become sick to have a family.

Do you get that?

This handsome, intelligent English speaking boy was willing to have Down Syndrome if it meant that he could have a family. If you are reading this, and your heart is pierced, won't you consider what you might do for one of these little lambs?

And by the way, would you kindly leave a little comment for me? With over 500 hits each day, it's a little discouraging to only get spam comments. Please delurk for me, would you?

Sunday with Maxim

Maxim is always happy while playing with balls. It makes for an easy visit, too. 

Today I allowed him to throw the balls into the ball pit, instead of out! It's too warm in the therapy room for me to be chasing balls all over. 

Ruby sent me some love this afternoon...morning for her.

 I have at least four sick children at home right now. I can't do anything for them and it doesn't feel right. We are all praying BIG prayers...for healing, for signatures, for heart and minds. The most difficult parts of the process are still to come.

Don't even know what day it is...

As you can probably tell, I'm not in the mood to blog. I've got very little emotional energy to spend, and it's all for Maxim right now.

A spelling error was discovered in Maxim's file on the day of my initial appointment in Kyiv. A spelling error from 2004 when Maxim's mother's rights were terminated. Why this wasn't discovered at some point in the past eight years baffles me. The adoption department scrutinizes adoptive parents dossier paperwork with a fine tooth comb...letter by letter. Internal documents regularly get the same treatment. This one slipped through a tight crack.

My facilitator went to work immediately last week to try to get this court decree fixed. By early Wednesday, it was apparent that it would never be completed unless we went personally to the courthouse to speak to the judge. You see, Maxim was born in an entirely different region, one that is not an easy trip from here.

We set out in a sleet storm on Wednesday morning. The roads were terribly icy and in terrible condition. It is no surprise that there is a tire shop on every corner here. Seven hours later we arrived in Max's birth city. We would go to work in the morning.

It's long story, every story is long here, but we did get the document fixed, finally, at 6:30pm, after a whole day of office hopping, driving, waiting, and with the assistance of Ben Franklin. The document is considered official on the 5th day after it is prepared. Then it must be signed by the adoption authorities in the capital city. This normally takes 10 days. Then, and only then, will I be able to go to court to adopt Maxim.
If you can count, you will understand that I have a difficult decision to make. Will I stay here and wait for a court date? If so, I will miss Christmas with my family.

Will I go home for Christmas as originally planned? If so, my second trip here will be a very long one...and I don't even have childcare lined up for that trip yet.

I'll need to make this decision in a few days.

Maxim is doing great, if you don't count his poor bloated belly. And his extreme oral defensiveness. And gosh he is skinny. He seems to like me. He LOVES getting kisses and snuggles. He's a real treasure and I can't wait to get him home.