The Hug

My flight to Chicago was packed, as usual. I had plenty of time to make my connection, so I didn't rush to stand up and grab my stuff and stand in the aisle when the plane arrived at the gate. We were 30 minutes late and many of the other passengers had tight connections. I would let them go first.

As I was sitting there a small boy appeared in the aisle from behind my seat. Must have been in the restroom in the back of the plane. He grabbed my arm and gave me a sweet little hug. Surprised, I hugged him back, but have him a funny look. He gave me a "what's wrong with you" look right back.

I mouthed the words "is this boy with you" to the woman standing behind him in the aisle. She said that she thought his mother was a few rows in front of me.

Sure enough, the little guy came to his senses and pushed his way through the standing folks to find his mother.

While waiting for my planeside checked bag, I noticed the boy and his family. The boy and his mom walked up the jetway, while his dad and brother waited for their bags. I stuck up a conversation with the dad and told him the story of mistaken identity. We had a little chuckle. I hope the dad didn't give his son too much crap about it. I thought it was sweet and made my afternoon!

Sunday Afternoon at the Airport

It is just another Sunday afternoon sitting at the airport. Just had a Great American Bagel. I'm charging my phone and iPad for the last time for the next two days.

I had an interesting time getting checked in. One bag was 65 pounds. I could have paid $400 for that, or repack and redistribute my stuff. I got it down to 51 and the agent let me slide. I was very sorry to have to leave a few precious items behind.

The agent also had a problem with my one-way ticket. He wasn't sure if he could let me fly or if he just needed to give me a warning that the country to which I'm headed may not admit me. He ended up calling an immigration hotline to find the answer...warning. Ok, so I'm warned.

I know that there are some items that I have forgotten to pack, but God willing, I have all the necessary paperwork completed to bring Maxim home with me in a few weeks. It's almost like completing a while new dossier, only with less guidance. The documents are a bit trickier if both parents are not present at the US consulate for the visa appointment.

Packing and document preparation has consumed the last few days of my life, but I cannot forget to mention that Zhen had a birthday!! We had his party last night after Sarah arrived from the airport. He was so funny with his cake and candles! He made the sound of blowing, but without the actual air coming out. Some trick, huh? Ralph and daddy helped him blow out the candles.

He was NOT interested in opening his present after that. He had ice cream and cake on his mind!! So now I have two six year olds until April when I'll have three. Fun times!

The next time you hear from me, I may have a brand new, bouncing 8 year old as well.

Getting closer...

I'm comfortable sharing freely about our adoption of Maxim. In fact, if there are any questions you have, or something I skipped over, leave me a comment. It would be fun to answer questions!

As free as I am, there are some really cool specifics that I just can't share quite yet. I'll be very relieved when I don't have to think so hard about what is safe and beneficial to share and what is not. I'd prefer to just let it all hang out!

I did a little shopping for Max today. I found a really nice coat on clearance at J.C. Penny, when everything at Walmart was MUCH more expensive. I also got some cute jammies and a new outfit for him there. I'm going to grab a few other pants and shirts from Theo's drawer and call it good.

I was able to chat with our pediatrician today about how to handle Max's health issues for the 4-5 days he'll be with me before we get home. I went out and bought the supplies that she recommended. More about that after court.

I'm getting closer to feeling prepared for this trip. I have an IEP in ten minutes and another one in the morning. After those are done, I'll be in a much better frame of mind.

Maxim, I'll be back soon!!

Avoidance

I'm leaving in four days! Wow!

I'm terrible at preparing for a trip. I would like to be one of those people who makes lists and packs things up ahead of time. I shouldn't be so hard on myself...I don't have everything I need to pack yet!

I still need to assemble a traveling wardrobe for Maxim. Yikes! I have his measurements but I can't really remember how big he feels...every piece of clothing I pick up looks "wrong." So I thought I would measure Theo and compare. Max is about the same height, same arm length, but significantly bigger around the chest and tummy.

The tummy. It's my greatest concern, clothing-wise and health-wise. I'm really reluctant to spend $25 on a coat for him only to find I can't zip it up over his big belly. I have to show up with a coat, tho', or they won't let us out the door!

 So, I have these planning issues looming. So what do I do? I obsess over a huge ink spot in the carpet. I need something to obsess over to help me avoid planning and packing, right?

I'll be cleaning the carpets if you need me...

The Silver Lining

As frustrating as Maxim's paperwork issues were in country, I was never worried or bent out of shape over them. I went through a period of time early in this adoption where I felt like I was in complete control of matters. I soon learned, painfully I might add, that I was nowhere near having any sort of control.

Once I gave up that illusion of control, things did not go easier. I still encountered road blocks, insane paperwork issues and then, ultimately, Maxim's paperwork problems. The road didn't get smoother, but my ability to cope with the potholes increased.

So now, I'm facing a longer than expected 2nd trip. I've not had a favorable court hearing. My family is not particularly happy with me. But I'm coping. And I'm looking for silver linings. There must be something good to come out of this, right?

I'm actually still very excited about the people I was blessed to meet in Maxim's city last month. I will share more about them here as I have an opportunity to organize my thoughts. Since my 2nd trip will likely be longer, I'll have more time to connect with these new facilities and new friends. Much more good could come out of this.

Here is one really special person I'll call "Sam." He is heavy on my heart. Dare I say that God has asked me to help him find a family? I'm afraid to say it, because I'm afraid I'll fail him. I know I have no control.

"Sam" wanted to show me his English textbook and practice his pronunciation. He is hungry for affection, attention, and guidance. Just like many thousands of other young people, I know. But God placed this particular boy in my path. Then in my heart. It grieves me to think of what his future holds for him if nothing changes. 

Young men there typically descend into drug abuse and crime when they graduate from the orphanages and into the trade school dorms. The living conditions are awful. (Ask me about the bathrooms sometime.) The food is worse. There isn't any sense that their lives could ever improve. More than 10% eventually commit suicide.

It brings me to tears just thinking and writing about it. I know my God is grieving too and has put a fire in my heart for Sam. Where is his family? Are they reading this right now?

If I could see this boy in a loving family, all the roadblocks, potholes and stupid paperwork issues would make sense. I would consider it to be the best sort of silver lining.

Merry Ukrainian Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!

Today is the day that Christmas is celebrated in Ukraine. I was hoping to be back there by now. It would have been possible for me to have court last week, the court was open and the judge had an available slot in her schedule, but the prosecutor was not available. 

We have not forgotten about Maxim! Ruby is very excited for him to come live at our house. She keeps asking me, "does Max-y don't have a mom?" She's so dang sweet about him, just like she was about Theo.

Speaking of Theo...poor little dude.

He had a really rough Christmas break. He's been doing a lot of hitting...himself of course. Some days are worse than others and I'm still trying to decide if it's a behavioral issue, or a pain/medical issue. So hard to tell with a non-verbal child. 

I slipped some mittens on Theo in a moment of desperation. He loved patting them together and on the back door, too! Thank goodness the mittens distracted him long enough to forget about hitting. Phew.

 Ruby. Sheesh.

I suddenly have about 20 photos like this on my phone. In December I used up a 3 hour airport layover just deleting whacked-out photos like this. I know what I'll be doing with my layovers next week. 

No, two!

Ralph loves bread. 

He luuuuuurrrrrrrves it!

His favorite snack is buttered bread with a cup of milk.

Tonight he came to me and signed "bread." He followed me to the kitchen. I took a piece of bread out of the wrapper and prepared to butter it. He jabbed me in the side and said clearly, "no, two!"

He spoke.

Clearly.

And I heard angels singing!!

Ralph wanted a sandwich. He showed me everything that he wanted on his two pieces of bread. Maybe someday he will say "sandwich, please," but in the meantime, we celebrate every little step in the right direction.