Never thought I'd see the day...and other stuff

Going, going...

I never allowed myself to think about this day. Somethings are better off not considered. But, it's here and it's done! I called the evil home health company today and arranged for them to pick up all the oxygen tanks AND the oximeter. I'll miss the sound of clanging tanks, NOT!

Of course, they require doctor's orders to discontinue service. That only took a simple phone call to Ralph's fantastic, friendly cardiac NP. I wanted to keep the oximeter and a back-up tank of oxygen, just in case. But, she talked me out of it. I haven't been checking his levels much lately anyway. I'll go buy a cheap, portable oximeter if I find that I can't handle this loss of (imaginary) control. At least I get some additional square footage!

Wesley took another CLEP test today. And he passed! I knew he would, I'm so proud. What a frugal and effective way to earn college credit! All the preparation is his responsibility...true learning. I'm impressed with College Plus so far. Graduation is a week from Saturday. Senior Roast is that night at church. Graduation party is Sunday afternoon.

Ralph goes to the DS clinic at Children's Mercy next week. The appointment is at 8 am so I'll need to drive up the day before. I'll need to bring help in order to care for Ruby and Ralph at the same time. This is presenting a childcare challenge considering that daddy will be in Arkansas next week. I'll figure it out...after I freak out for a couple of days.

There are birds building a nest...in a wreath...on my front door!? These must be the stupidest, most ill-informed birds I've ever seen. Don't they experience my many children going in and out of the house and slamming the door each time? I'm baffled.

Miss Ruby is up 9 ounces from last Friday! She is a much happier baby now that I'm actually feeding her enough. This photo was from last Tuesday when she was looking a little thinner.


Today she looks a bit fuller in the face and is sleeping better, too!

Two years ago...

Two years ago today was a wonderful terrible day. It was a beautiful, warm Sunday when Ralph was born. I recall laboring through worship that morning...no one knew!

After church I retreated to my room. I felt the need to rest as much as possible so I put on some good music and napped off and on. James kept the children busy playing outside so that I would not be disturbed. I could hear them through the open windows. Later I took a relaxing bath and had a little glass of wine. A perfect day. A perfect labor.

A perfect baby...with a few challenges.

Ralph was born at about 9:30 p.m. I was immediately in love. But, we learned only minutes before he was born that he was in trouble. 911. Ambulance. Hospital

I've spent a lot of time in hospitals over the past two years. I've seen things a mother shouldn't see. Now I see beauty in things that others cannot. My heart's been broken a few times but now there's a bit more room in it. Thanks be to God. And Ralph.

Happy birthday Ralph! I love you!!

Princess Dogbone

She looks a little beat-up, doesn't she? Maybe that is because she is! :(

Rose was bitten by the neighbor's dog yesterday. She was playing in their yard with their kids when the dog jumped up and bit her in the face. James took her to the minor emergency office but they sent her to the hospital emergency room because of the location of the wound in the corner of her eye. She also has a puncture on her forehead which was glued shut.

She was a very brave girl...after a while anyway. Daddy was the one who took her to the ER, 'cause he might have gone looking for a certain dog.

The neighbors felt terrible. And while not having the good sense to keep their dog from wandering around the block, they did pay the hospital and pharmacy...and the dog no longer lives there.

New pictures

Oldest holding newest.Incredible fingers! Long and spidery.

A handful. A tiny little one-hand-full.

Guess who also loves Chipotle?

Naptime for boys, big and small.

One month in.

Wow...it is quiet here for a moment. Feels odd.

Wesley is at work. Chipper is at a track meet. Richard, Jordan, Leroy and daddy went to watch the track meet. Thomas is at grandma's house. Rose is at the neighbor's house. Ralph and Ruby are sleeping! Quiet. Peaceful. Ahhhh.

I feel like the past month has been my "lost month." I have not been able to focus on anything but keeping Ruby fed. We had a rough start and it snowballed. I'm sure that the frantic crying from her colic contributed to her trouble gaining weight, also. There were times that I cried while changing her diaper because her little legs were so skinny. There were words offered in kindness that I took all wrong.

I guess it goes to show that even experienced mothers sometimes struggle at first. Maybe more so. It is much more difficult to ask for help when you have eight other babies under your belt. Maybe it is just harder to realize that you need help with eight other babies under your belt!

We are getting better. Ruby is growing, filling out a bit. No more baggy skin on her arms and legs. She still has crying spells, but they are happening less often. I'm getting a little more sleep. Hurting a little less.

I'm glad that our clouds are lifting because I'm ready to get to know Ruby. I'm ready to fall in love with her. In my experience, bonding with a baby after a c-section is different and more difficult. I was numb when she was born and in a way I still am. Dealing with a screaming, colicky baby doesn't help.

I didn't feel her leaving my body. I know she did. But, it feels unreal. I must reconcile my heart with my mind. Feelings follow action, heart follows mind. I'm good.

OK, now the dog wants to go out. Peace and quiet are over. I'll put up some pictures tonight.

My sunshine

No more oxygen! YAY!!It's great to see his whole face ALL the time. Even if it's covered in sauce!

Ramblin' catching-up

Life is so stinkin' busy around here right now! I feel like I'm just hanging on tight so I don't fall off the ride. Ruby is snoozing for the moment so I'll have to make this fast!

Thomas did well on his state assessments last week. It was three days, two tests per day. Thankfully dad was in town last week and was able to help me get him there and picked up several times. He was signed up for morning testing, but he had to leave early and come back in the afternoon one day so that we could attend a memorial service. Phew.

Yes, a memorial service. James aunt passed away on April 1. She was young, too young. Cancer sucks and then it sucks some more.

Wesley passed his first CLEP test last week. Thomas, Leroy, Ralph, Ruby and I dropped him off on Thursday afternoon and then went to Eastborough Park to kill a couple of hours. Leroy likes to harass the ducks there!

Chipper had his first track meet last week and it got rained out. :( He had another one today and then an orchestra concert tonight! Richy is also running track this Spring.

Oh joy! Summer rec baseball practice starts this week. I've gotten a few emails from coaches about practice times. It's always funny because the emails usually say "I'm your child's coach this year" and so I have to do a little research to figure out which of the children they are coaching! Five children, five different teams. Next year I'm going to offer them $20 ($50 even!) NOT to play baseball. I think my sanity is worth a couple hundred dollars, don't you?

Wesley's graduation is coming up! WOW! He is so incredible...really a treasure to me. We ordered some announcements today because tomorrow it the deadline to turn in announcements for the graduation ceremony scrapbook. That's me...last minute scrambling. Oh, also turned in a graduate info sheet to church today...2 days late. I know people understand my being lame, because I've been preoccupied with Ruby, but it still feels bad to be so lame!

Ralph had his appointment with the cardiologist today. I brought along a Signing Time video for him to watch during the echo. I thought he would be so mesmerized by it (like he is at home) that he would be still and good. Well...no. Of course today he wanted to show off all his signs! I had another bright idea to slip his socks on his hands during the EKG! He still managed to pull some wires off with his toes!

Ralph's test results were pretty good. He has been off of oxygen for a little more than a month. And, he is staying off of oxygen!!! His pulmonary pressures were only slightly higher than last time when he was still on oxygen. He is running at 35-40 mmHg. Not terrible. Now we are working on taking him off of some of his medications. After some blood tests this week, I'll know more.

One thing the doc said that bothered me...he mentioned Bosentan in passing. I'm pretty comfortable with the medications that Ralph is taking right now. I've been under the impression that his PH would be improving over time, but maybe I'm wrong. Bosentan scares me. It would be something to consider is Ralph gets worse...a lot worse. He is such a yummy little piece of sunshine! So, I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy.

I'll leave you with a little sample of my sunshine: