Wrecked

Two years ago today today, Theodore was lying in a hospital room...alone...200 miles away from me. We just got home from Ukraine when he got terribly ill and was admitted to the children's hospital. My husband had already missed too much work and was back on the road. I had no choice but to leave Theo there to care for everyone else at home...after promising him that I would never, ever leave him again.

That was the beginning of a tough period of re-entry for me. God wrecked my heart in Ukraine. There were no photos, no videos, no blog posts that could have prepared me for my experience there. It wasn't something I could put away when I got home. So many children haunted my dreams. So many children were starving for love and simply starving.

In the midst of getting to know our two new sons, dealing with unfamiliar medical issues, and running the household I had to find a way to advocate for those kids left behind. Tori, Masha, Mila, Edwin, Andrey...and Maxim came last.

Shortly before he turned six years old, Maxim's profile was moved to another category on the Reece's Rainbow adoption grant website. He was now considered an "older boy" and his $5000 grant was removed from him and put into an "older boy" community fund. The next family to adopt an "older boy" would receive any funds in that pot. The work we had done for him, the change we begged for, it was gone. My hope that Maxim would ever find a family was fading.