Sunday, August 21, 2011

There are those...

There are those who would rather that I not finish my story.


There are those who claim that I would be harming an organization that is doing good work.

There are those who feel I'm obsessed and self-centered.

There are those would prefer to let bygones be bygones.

What do you say?

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am interested in hearing what you have to say. I don't know that there is anything that anyone could say which would cause someone to NOT go get a child if they were going to do so, and I think that being prepared for pitfalls, knowing what to look for, and knowing one's options is a good thing.

Thank you.

Nance said...

Harming them from what exactly? The truth, your truth? others truth?

Obsessed because you know right from wrong and you HATE seeing wrong?

Self centered because this very day 2 little ones sit waiting because this organization does not want to give out information needed to adopt these two sweeties UNLESS they use their team of facilitators? So these two children WAIT when someone could have committed to them yesterday! And you, being so self-centered, find this kind of behavior unacceptable because it should be about the children finding homes and not the money to be gained by facilitating an adoption.
You have had your experience and you have heard from many families of their experiences.
I say finish your story and then ask "those" people if they can let bygones be bygones.

J Sam said...

Finish your story. Truth (and sunlight) are soooooo important. Here is a great explanation of WHY:

http://fleasbiting.blogspot.com/2011/08/intercountry-adoption-accountability.html

Anonymous said...

I say finish your story. Put your experience out there. Though I have never adopted through RR, I am very familiar with Ukrainian Adoption. I will say that I have contacted the Director of RR on a couple of occasions to ask about two different children as well as asking questions and I have found the response to be cold and indifferent leaving me overall pretty disappointed. Because I believe many children have found homes through RR, I let one (high level) person's insensitive response go. I am certain that I am NOT the only person that has been treated this way. I would also like to point out that knowing the nature of Adoption in Ukraine, it is a very poor decision on RR part to put all of their "eggs in one basket" by only using Serge as a Facilitator. It gives Serge, who is already a greedy, self-serving individual who knows how to play off peoples emotions, WAY TOO MUCH POWER. I have heard through a very reliable source that Serge has "threatened" RR administration saying that if they go outside of him and use any other Facilitators that he will stop doing business with them. This has stopped RR from adding Facilitators. Which leads to the fact that people's dossier's are pushed back and kids sit and wait longer because Serge is only one guy submitting dossiers. Furthermore, RR is reluctant to give out information to people who are interested in using their own Faciliators, which makes me wonder...is RR truly interested in children finding a home? RR does not "own" the children on the website, so why aren't the willing to allow others to use their own facilitators? Ahhh, it comes down to money! That is the only thing that could hold RR back from giving information out about a child. Unfortunately, with RR being based in the U.S., there is so much room for the things that you mention to go on without accountability. The same types of things go on with Ukrainain Angels, as Cathy Harris is based in the States. Only difference is Ukrainian Angels has multiple Faciliators.

Morgen said...

Please finish your story. As someone who would like to adopt when we are able I want and need to know how to navigate the minefields that are out there. Us potential adopting families need the truth. We need to be prepared for what will happen before and after we bring these children home. Hiding the truth makes us more afraid to jump and commit. Knowledge of the truth won't stop me from bringing home my child when I find him/her, it'll just make me a better parent in the long run.

Morgen said...

If I adopt through RR I can't use my own facilitator? Is it possible to adopt one of the children listed without going through RR. How would I begin that?

Nance said...

Yes Morgen you CAN use your own facilitator through RR. The problem is when you contact RR to commit to a child and tell them you want to use your own facilitator they do not give out the information needed to adopt that specific child. You need the birth name and true birth date to petition for a child. RR has that info but will NOT give it out unless you go through their facilitation team. I guess I'm not sure how a family is supposed to get that information without the help of RR and they know that.

The Land Family said...

Yes, finish your story. The truth is always the right thing to do.

Anonymous said...

Finish your story. It is YOURS to tell.

As for the kids listed on RR - many of them are also listed with actual adoption agencies. The trick is to find them.

Sherrie said...

We should never fear the Truth....Do the right thing come what may!!

Anonymous said...

Please...keep sharing. This nastiness needs to be exposed!! It's been covered up by RR - and called 'gossip'. Ridiculous! It's a serious problem that Andrea is not willing to deal with. A friend of mine asked about using a different facilitator after hearing about all of this from someone else, and Andrea basically laughed in her face. Like it was impossible. Not knowing any better, she committed through RR.

RR is clearly NOT all about rescuing children...but making money!! Sad, sad, sad.

J Sam said...

A very strange post alleging that "publicity" from an RR family's blog in Bulgaria could end up closing SN adoptions in Bulgaria went up this morning at theblessingofverity.com. In part, it reads:

"“Besides the many forwarded e-mails they are sending me here in Bulgaria, yesterday late night I received a phone call too warning me that the whole Bulgarian [special needs adoption] program will be halted because of the publicity. Can you please remove at least the photos on your blog which identify the orphanage?”.

You've GOT to finish telling your story!!

PA the photos of the tiny, emaciated 11 lb, 11 year old girl the author of the blog has posted are BEYOND heartbreaking.

Johannah said...

As someone interested in international adoption I would like you to finish your story. I have heard very good things about RR and have met people that have adopted through them (if that is the correct way of saying it?). These people very generally satisfied. However if there are problems or things have gone wrong it is important that this is discussed so we can all learn from it and benefit from it and possible better the process in the future.
If I decide to adopt through RR then I would like to have as much information as possible, good and bad before making an informed decision.

Stephanie @ Ralphcrew said...

Thank you for the encouragement. This task gives me no pleasure.

I must quickly say that I'm reviewing experiences that I have been personally involved in only. Many people have been pleased with Reece's Rainbow and I will respect their experience.

RR is a non-profit organization. It has been a strong voice for orphans with DS. I will give credit where it is due.

More on that to come.

Julie said...

Just now found your story series - I have real tears flowing.

I would adopt "Janie" again in a heartbeat - even knowing how terrified we were listening to Serge yelling on the phone, then not being able to fully express how sorry we were to your friend, as we were still sitting there in the car, 3 sets of ears listening unabashedly, 2 of those able to understand my words. I hate that we are the cause of losing such a valuable resource in a place where friends can be hard to come by.

Thanks for all of your encouragement during and since our adoption. Stephanie, it was and is worth more than gold to me. Thank you for having much more courage than me. You've told our story more perfectly than I.

Love, Julie
proud mommy to Dashlyn, sprung from Yolochka and home in Dec '10

Ann said...

I want to hear all about it. The truth needs to be shared. Good for your for having the courage and morals to do what's right!

Somewhere Behind the Morning said...

I agree with ALL of these comments. Especially the Anonymous ones, and of course Julie's since we experienced some h*ll together in Kiev from the same people. She'll always be my Ukraine BFF!

It's a sad day when an organization chooses to put money and unscrupulous, threatening jerks above kids who need homes. Kids that other facilitators will charge $3,500 for no matter HOW many you adopt. In fact, they WANT you to adopt more to save them. They don't demand thousands more for them.

KIDS are KIDS not commodities.

Anonymous said...

Many are listening. Thank you for your courage in speaking out. You are doing a good thing.

Mama of 3 said...

In response to Anonymous saying that "The same type of things go on with Cathy Harris and Ukrainian Angels" I want to say that this is NOT true. We used Ukrainian Angels and Cathy is NOT a fan of how RR does business. She is a stickler for following UA law. The team in Ukraine that we worked with was great and we went outside of the box a few times with which apartments we wanted to rent and how we chose to spend our money, time, etc. Ukrainian Angels is not at all like RR.