Monday, September 5, 2011

The End...sort of a beginning.

My friend, Grace, asked me for recommendations for a new facilitator. She and her husband had prayerfully decided, based on numerous reports of intimidation and threats, to switch to a new adoption facilitator before completing their dossier.

I was happy to help and gave them a few names that had made a good impression on me. I was also happy to assist the family in finding low cost lodging with a friend. Since Grace was not using the facilitator that had previously threatened my friends in Simferopol, they were happy to help.

Early in July, I was informed that Grace's original facilitator, whom she was referred to by Reece's Rainbow, had threatened her current facilitator with bodily harm. Additionally, as a result, Grace was asked to please find another place to stay (her husband had gone home after their court date) by my friend who was renting her an apartment.

Grace dropped off the face of the earth at that point. She stopped blogging and sharing photos. Not a happy way to spend the last few weeks of an adoption trip. She's home with her new child now, dealing with PTSD on top of the usual health and bonding issues.

How much more could I take, watching friend after friend being intimidated and abused? Why are families still being referred to this adoption facilitator? Who would continue to do business with such a person?

My ride is over. I have lost hope in the rainbow ride and I'm sick of being sick.

But, the children.

I'm so in love with the children I left behind. Especially the ones who are not cute enough to benefit from a photo listing on an adoption website. The ones who are kept in the back room, out of sight, out of mind. The ones in remote, backwater institutions.

I'm so in love with the idea of adoption. It's not for sissies. It's not for everyone. But, it is as true a reflection of salvation and God's love for us as anything I can think.

So, two things:

1) I'm going back to help the children that no one cares about. This fall, I and two other 'Yolochka' moms are headed back to Crimea to visit institutions and find ways to improve the lives of the children who have not yet been, or may never be, adopted into a family. We also hope to visit with Ukrainian families who are raising their differently-abled children at home. We want to encourage them and love them, too.

2) Are you adopting? Thinking of adopting? I'm around. Ask me anything. I'll share with you here what I know. I'll tell you if I don't know. I love adopting families as much as I love the children who need them. :) Leave your questions in the comment section. If you prefer, you may comment anonymously or you may request that I not publish your name.

At the risk of disclosing my questionable taste in music, in the words of Semisonic's Closing Time, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."


Jill said...

Thanks so much for sharing your heart, Stephanie. As always, I appreciate it. Please keep me posted on your "return" trip and let me know if there is anything I can do to help. :-) Hey, I just thought of something...maybe Elijah's parents would want to help in some way. Not sure if you would want them or if they would be willing...hmmm...something to think about. Keep me posted!

Anna said...

hugs. thank you for sharing the story. We didnt use Reeces Rainbow to adopt our daughter. It was still a hard journey. I think I too returned home with PTSD of some sort. It took at least 8-9 mos to feel human. We are so blessed by our little one and pray that one day we can do it again.