Tuesday, February 12, 2013


Reality. It is the dimension of truth that we can touch and feel. It is the dimension of truth that pierces my heart.

Reality is often hidden under layers. Layers of all sorts: paint, area rugs, layers of makeup, layers of body fat, layers of attitude, layers of...tights and fluffy pajamas.

Reality doesn't go away. It can change, but it is always present...whether we can perceive it or not.

Do you remember this photo of Theo? The reality of his physical condition was evident to us the day we met. The steamy Crimean summer of 2010 required very little in the way of clothing. Physically, we knew the reality that we were dealing with. (We are still peeling away the layers of his emotional reality...)

The reality of Maxim's condition was revealed to us slowly. Hidden under layers of fluffy Ukrainian boy-tights and sweaters, I couldn't imagine the scarecrow that I would find underneath.

On "forever in my arms" day, I requested to personally dress my son in his brand new escape clothing. The emotions of the day were already running high. Max was well liked in this place. He was happy. He knew nothing else. I was taking him away forever.

I sat with Max on the sofa that I was never before permitted to sit upon. I removed the communal clothing from his frame. Oh dear. I didn't know. I quickly dressed him and shoved my emotions aside. The reality would be there when I had time to deal with it.

I mean, I suspected the truth of Maxim's physical condition...but I had not yet experienced the reality of it until the layers were stripped away. How he has maintained a cheerful and happy spirit is beyond my understanding.

Maxim and I are headed to the pediatrician in about 15 minutes. My original plan for him included a hospital stay to fully assess his condition. I hope to have a plan of action in place soon and will update soon. Thank you for all the prayers and the ways your have supported us thus far.


Melissa said...

So, so sad :( I know change is coming to Ukraine but I wish it would come faster :(

Lisa Grace said...

I am crying right now. With sorrow for precious Max's life until now and also with joy for what is coming.

Jolene said...

Oh my... poor baby. Despite that bloated tummy he is obviously malnutritioned - so skinny!