Wednesday, March 2, 2011

When you say ret*rd...

I heard what you said.

Yeah, you.

I just want to know what you meant by it.

I heard you say ret*rd. Yes, I did.

I was just wondering...

When you said ret*rd...

...did you mean ultra cute?

...or extra snuggly?

...or incredibly resilient?

...or super charming?

...or SPARKLY? (hat tip: Carolyn of Project Hopeful)

...or beautiful beyond comprehension?

...or did you just mean rock star?

Or maybe, (picture these in your head) when you said ret*rd...

...did you mean dumb?
Like the time you locked your keys in your car with the engine running?

Then just say dumb.

...or did you mean useless?
Like your designer handbags and eye wear? Your dust collecting home accessories? All the crap in your garage that you never use?

Then just say useless.

...or did you mean bad?
Like your unashamed addiction to nicotine, caffeine, booze, or (gasp!) pornography? Or FaceBook? ha! gotcha!

Then just say bad.

...or did you mean lame brained?
Like the time you had a few beers at a restaurant and decided it was OK for you to go ahead and drive yourself home?

Then just say lame brained.

...or did you mean dopey? dimwitted? moronic? dull?

Just say dopey, dimwitted, moronic or dull.

My children are none of those things

I know. I've heard it before.

You weren't talking about my children.

So, whose beloved child, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, friend, co-worker were you referring to?

Say what you mean.
Mean what you say.
Find a new word.
It's End the R-word Day.


Charissa said...

This is the best post EVER.

Jennifer said...

Love it! Great post!!!

Anonymous said...

Best post ever. Love it.

Sherrie said...

I have read this 10 times already and posted it to my FB. I love it.

Faith - said...

Wow!! Awesome post!!

AussieKirstie said...

hope you dont mind but i shared this post on facebook i also subscibed to your blog eith google reader ive been meaning to do it for a long time
i look foward to seeing maxims adjustments to american and family life
best wishes from australia

Kim said...

Perfect, perfect, perfect.