The Silver Lining

As frustrating as Maxim's paperwork issues were in country, I was never worried or bent out of shape over them. I went through a period of time early in this adoption where I felt like I was in complete control of matters. I soon learned, painfully I might add, that I was nowhere near having any sort of control.

Once I gave up that illusion of control, things did not go easier. I still encountered road blocks, insane paperwork issues and then, ultimately, Maxim's paperwork problems. The road didn't get smoother, but my ability to cope with the potholes increased.

So now, I'm facing a longer than expected 2nd trip. I've not had a favorable court hearing. My family is not particularly happy with me. But I'm coping. And I'm looking for silver linings. There must be something good to come out of this, right?

I'm actually still very excited about the people I was blessed to meet in Maxim's city last month. I will share more about them here as I have an opportunity to organize my thoughts. Since my 2nd trip will likely be longer, I'll have more time to connect with these new facilities and new friends. Much more good could come out of this.

Here is one really special person I'll call "Sam." He is heavy on my heart. Dare I say that God has asked me to help him find a family? I'm afraid to say it, because I'm afraid I'll fail him. I know I have no control.

"Sam" wanted to show me his English textbook and practice his pronunciation. He is hungry for affection, attention, and guidance. Just like many thousands of other young people, I know. But God placed this particular boy in my path. Then in my heart. It grieves me to think of what his future holds for him if nothing changes. 

Young men there typically descend into drug abuse and crime when they graduate from the orphanages and into the trade school dorms. The living conditions are awful. (Ask me about the bathrooms sometime.) The food is worse. There isn't any sense that their lives could ever improve. More than 10% eventually commit suicide.

It brings me to tears just thinking and writing about it. I know my God is grieving too and has put a fire in my heart for Sam. Where is his family? Are they reading this right now?

If I could see this boy in a loving family, all the roadblocks, potholes and stupid paperwork issues would make sense. I would consider it to be the best sort of silver lining.